The Weekend: From a Worthy Woman (Amy Yee)

Sitting here on my women’s retreat,

they said not a word, not even a peep.

Too late to leave, we are going down deep

to dive within ourselves, to sit inside, to steep.

Who am I? Am I loved? Am I worthy?

The words to describe me feel cloudy and dirty.

But this isn’t me this has all been a test-

to test my strength or surrender like the rest.

I was always called stubborn, boy, were they wrong. Standing up for myself and defending is strong.

But all I could hear were the ugly lies,

so that strong little girl just curls up and she hides.

For years, I felt angry and sad and unheard,

So after all this time I’ve just not said a word.

But something happened that weekend in October. Every one of us had our voices handed back over.

Before we might fight with ourselves and others trying to be heard, or just hide under the covers.

We learned we don’t justify, argue, defend or explain. We acknowledge what we did, say “oops” and we change.

God made us strong and worthy, loved and so bold.

We are quiet when listening and eye contact we hold.

We gathered in silence with God and we grieved. We freed that little girl inside us - a reprieve.

I can only speak for myself when I say, that weekend holds the most honest, vindicated, memorable days.

That little girl leaves us, voice light as a feather.

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” Ps. 23:5-6

By Amy Yee